They live among us, they breathe the same air as we do, they might even look like us. Most importantly, they are the one's whom many look up to for inspiration in times of need, the one's most trusted upon when the situation calls for them, the one's whose every decision made is held in high regard. These are things that set them apart from normal people. Who is this sort of person that I'm talking about? Well, I'm sure the first thing that will come to your mind is that all these characteristics would be that of a leader.
Leaders come from every possible backgrounds imaginable, they ooze confidence as well as the ability to get things going when they take charge. Now, what would qualify any regular person as a leader? Is it their personality? Their ability to give excellent ideas? Or is it an inborn talent? The fact is, anyone can lead, hence the only stumbling block one would have to face would be to actually get people to follow you. How is this achieved?
The way I see it, people who can lead competently are those who are very good speakers. People with this skill are able to use words to their advantage, to cover up their shortcomings and to further enhance the persuasion levels of their speeches. These are people who play with words to lead men under them, no matter how undeserving they might be of their posts. (Think of men like Saddam Hussein, Osama bin Laden, Adolf Hitler and Joseph Stalin)
However, these very same men can also be the one's who give hope to entire nations, to rally organizations to causes, to set worthy example's of dealing with impossible problems, most importantly, they do what's required of them most effectively. That is to lead! (Think of men like Winston Churchill, Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela)
Good leadership skills are also the epitome of a great balancing act. For some situations opening spaces to accept changes might be good in order to please everyone, one the other hand, there will also come a time where stern and immediate decisions must be made no matter how inconvenient it is to others. In other words, there can be no equivocation. Decisions of leaders must be firm, and they must stand by their points when challenged.
Situations where people are at a lost of what to do calls for a persons leadership skills to shine, to act like a ray of light that doubles as a guide and an example to follow. Leaders will naturally know what to do when in a tight spot, and they should rightly know that people who follow them are those that place their wholehearted trust in them.
"With great power, comes great responsibility"~Ben Parker
Friday, July 10, 2009
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Opinions
Try bringing up any topic of conversation whenever you are in with a company of people, be it friends or total strangers, chances are that they will most likely respond you with their opinions on that particular topic. Now why is this? Why do people suddenly want to be heard? Do they really think that you will give a damn about their opinions? Or are they just attention seekers?
This is a very perplexing dilemma indeed. It would seem that by voicing out their opinions, people would sound as if they were challenging your authority in that conversation, and on the other hand, it can also sound as if they agree with you on what you have just said. Depending on the responses that you receive, interpretation of an opinion will vary as much as it possibly can.
However, do take note that on most occasions, opinions do matter. This is because almost every action that precedes it will be based on your response towards that particular opinion. For example, when someone tells you that you need to stop being so annoying to them, depending on your response, it may bring about a series of different emotions as well as actions being taken out.
(1) You might feel offended, not talk to that person ever again
(2) You might feel guilty for being an annoyance, while trying to seek forgiveness
(3) You might feel like an idiot for not acting your age and try to change your ways in the future
Every single opinion will vary, it may be something short and sweet, or disturbing and harsh, but knowing how to handle them will go a long way in maintaining and fostering good communications skills as well as a successful building of relationships.
This is a very perplexing dilemma indeed. It would seem that by voicing out their opinions, people would sound as if they were challenging your authority in that conversation, and on the other hand, it can also sound as if they agree with you on what you have just said. Depending on the responses that you receive, interpretation of an opinion will vary as much as it possibly can.
However, do take note that on most occasions, opinions do matter. This is because almost every action that precedes it will be based on your response towards that particular opinion. For example, when someone tells you that you need to stop being so annoying to them, depending on your response, it may bring about a series of different emotions as well as actions being taken out.
(1) You might feel offended, not talk to that person ever again
(2) You might feel guilty for being an annoyance, while trying to seek forgiveness
(3) You might feel like an idiot for not acting your age and try to change your ways in the future
Every single opinion will vary, it may be something short and sweet, or disturbing and harsh, but knowing how to handle them will go a long way in maintaining and fostering good communications skills as well as a successful building of relationships.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Dialog, the dance of life
"It takes two to tango" so the saying goes, and this is most evident in all our daily communications. When engaging in a conversation, and dance of verbal as well as non-verbal takes place right before our very eyes. Like real life dancing, the words and actions omitted by an individual in the conversation plays off each other, with one relying on the other to synchronize itself to form meaningful patterns and vocal comprehension.
A misstep taken in a dance a lead to disastrous results, the same goes for a conversation. Like real dancers,where both will have to anticipate every step that their partners do. If this does not happen, then the dance moves will not have a flow to it and the routine will look terrible in front of the audience. Likewise, when engaging in open dialog, it vital that we take note of the individual that we are facing, what their preferences are, what would their most likely answer to a question be, their past experiences with the topic, etc. Doing all these and many more will help make a conversation go smoother as we can readily anticipate what our next uttered sentence would be as we would have already analyse these factors, thus reducing the possibility of miscommunication happening.
Also, like a dance, there must be music accompanying it. Without music, the dancers will not have a rhythm to follow to and the dance will cease to be graceful. This music in communicating would be the situation which a person finds themselves in during a conversation. For example, if an aunt of a friend has just passed away, you don't go towards that person and joke around and act like a fool when all that was needed was a few consoling words to soothe a grieving heart. Situations like these are what most of us would encounter at least once within our lifetime. So, listen out to the music and you might just find yourself to be the most competent 'dancer' in all your conversations.
A misstep taken in a dance a lead to disastrous results, the same goes for a conversation. Like real dancers,where both will have to anticipate every step that their partners do. If this does not happen, then the dance moves will not have a flow to it and the routine will look terrible in front of the audience. Likewise, when engaging in open dialog, it vital that we take note of the individual that we are facing, what their preferences are, what would their most likely answer to a question be, their past experiences with the topic, etc. Doing all these and many more will help make a conversation go smoother as we can readily anticipate what our next uttered sentence would be as we would have already analyse these factors, thus reducing the possibility of miscommunication happening.
Also, like a dance, there must be music accompanying it. Without music, the dancers will not have a rhythm to follow to and the dance will cease to be graceful. This music in communicating would be the situation which a person finds themselves in during a conversation. For example, if an aunt of a friend has just passed away, you don't go towards that person and joke around and act like a fool when all that was needed was a few consoling words to soothe a grieving heart. Situations like these are what most of us would encounter at least once within our lifetime. So, listen out to the music and you might just find yourself to be the most competent 'dancer' in all your conversations.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Competion, is it human nature? Or something animalistic?
For ages, people of the human race have always desired to be the best of the best. The race to see who gets the better food, the better job, better living conditions, and almost anything under the sun. For many, every single thing that they have always been doing is for self-purposes only. They want to emerge victorious in the daily struggle for dominance, and not to mention seeing the loser drown in tears of disappointment.
Why is this so? Why do people have this strong urge inside them to win every competition, even though its not as if its a life and death situation? You could say that its a sort of survival mechanism inside each and every one of us, something that's very primitive, and that its has always been inside of us ever since the first caveman killed his comrade just to pry a bigger piece of meat to eat from his cold lifeless hands inside a dark cave. Sounds very brutal, isn't it?
Then, it is good to note the competition is not always necessarily a bad thing. In fact, competition has in many ways led to the creation of many fusion of cultures as well as the subsequent flourishing of them. In an unforgiving environment such as this world, people of different cultures who try to impose their ways of living on others will often find themselves in situations where acceptance for it is very hard to come by. Instead, they will be clashing with the existing culture and its people who prefer to keep things as they were and to not accept a 'foreign' way of life.
However, there are bound to be some that do not see eye to eye with them, and instead would like to see some fresh changes being brought into their way of living. Therefore, a competition between the acceptance for these two separate cultures occur, and the winner is the one with the most 'popular vote', so to speak, while the loser fades into the annals of history. The winning culture then forms the general backdrop for society in which they follow.
For example, the head-hunting culture in some of the tribes of the indigenous people of the world, this practice is accepted by their society and they are even encouraged to do it. However when colonist from a foreign land show up and impose their cultures onto these people, the head-hunting gradually stopped. In the present society, these same people who once practice head-hunting now oppose this practice vehemently. This clearly shows that the dominant culture will be the one that will survive competition in the end. Nevertheless, tons of other cultures have also gained a unique identity through being successful in competition and until today remains as the very fabric that holds society together.
Why is this so? Why do people have this strong urge inside them to win every competition, even though its not as if its a life and death situation? You could say that its a sort of survival mechanism inside each and every one of us, something that's very primitive, and that its has always been inside of us ever since the first caveman killed his comrade just to pry a bigger piece of meat to eat from his cold lifeless hands inside a dark cave. Sounds very brutal, isn't it?
Then, it is good to note the competition is not always necessarily a bad thing. In fact, competition has in many ways led to the creation of many fusion of cultures as well as the subsequent flourishing of them. In an unforgiving environment such as this world, people of different cultures who try to impose their ways of living on others will often find themselves in situations where acceptance for it is very hard to come by. Instead, they will be clashing with the existing culture and its people who prefer to keep things as they were and to not accept a 'foreign' way of life.
However, there are bound to be some that do not see eye to eye with them, and instead would like to see some fresh changes being brought into their way of living. Therefore, a competition between the acceptance for these two separate cultures occur, and the winner is the one with the most 'popular vote', so to speak, while the loser fades into the annals of history. The winning culture then forms the general backdrop for society in which they follow.
For example, the head-hunting culture in some of the tribes of the indigenous people of the world, this practice is accepted by their society and they are even encouraged to do it. However when colonist from a foreign land show up and impose their cultures onto these people, the head-hunting gradually stopped. In the present society, these same people who once practice head-hunting now oppose this practice vehemently. This clearly shows that the dominant culture will be the one that will survive competition in the end. Nevertheless, tons of other cultures have also gained a unique identity through being successful in competition and until today remains as the very fabric that holds society together.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Hatred, the emotion of all evil
Hatred is one of the worse emotions one person can ever go through. After a heated argument, both parties who are involved in it will as if they are most miserable individuals that ever existed in the entire universe. Hatred is an disturbing emotion in many ways, people often can't eat, sleep or even do their normal everyday routines without a peace of mind.
This emotion is responsible for a lot of relationship breakdowns. Fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, brothers and sisters, friends, colleagues, everyone is affected. A long and loving relationship can be broken in a matter of seconds once hatred takes over a person's thoughts and actions. Disagreements on how things are handle or preferences that are not similiar to others are just a fraction of the possible causes of hatred. However, this is just on a relatively small scale. On a bigger picture of what hatred can do to people, you need to look no further than your recent history knowledge. War.
That's right, its war. Every attack, every bullet fired, every bomb dropped is in retaliation to actions of hatred that have been done on individuals involved in the war. An example of this is war going on in Iraq. Allow me to decribe this typical scenario. One fine day, locals are accidentally killed by American bombs, families hate the Americans for this, they join a terrorist organization (al-Qaeda) by becoming fighters to exact revenge on the Americans, and while engaging these local fighters, American lives are lost. This will also bring the emotion of hatred on the American side, and so they kill even more people in return. As a result, this vicious cycle of hatred goes on and on and on without signs of halting.
War is the basis of all of this negative vibes, but take note. All of this can be stopped, both domestic disagreements at home to international ones involving armed conflicts, if all the parties involved can compromise and find common ground in order to maintain harmony.
This emotion is responsible for a lot of relationship breakdowns. Fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, brothers and sisters, friends, colleagues, everyone is affected. A long and loving relationship can be broken in a matter of seconds once hatred takes over a person's thoughts and actions. Disagreements on how things are handle or preferences that are not similiar to others are just a fraction of the possible causes of hatred. However, this is just on a relatively small scale. On a bigger picture of what hatred can do to people, you need to look no further than your recent history knowledge. War.
That's right, its war. Every attack, every bullet fired, every bomb dropped is in retaliation to actions of hatred that have been done on individuals involved in the war. An example of this is war going on in Iraq. Allow me to decribe this typical scenario. One fine day, locals are accidentally killed by American bombs, families hate the Americans for this, they join a terrorist organization (al-Qaeda) by becoming fighters to exact revenge on the Americans, and while engaging these local fighters, American lives are lost. This will also bring the emotion of hatred on the American side, and so they kill even more people in return. As a result, this vicious cycle of hatred goes on and on and on without signs of halting.
War is the basis of all of this negative vibes, but take note. All of this can be stopped, both domestic disagreements at home to international ones involving armed conflicts, if all the parties involved can compromise and find common ground in order to maintain harmony.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Are Men really from Mars and Women from Venus?
I came across this peculiar book entitled "Are Men from Mars and Women from Venus?" one day. It really made me think hard about what the author of the book was trying to say. After an intense session of brain storming about the title, it turns out the author really does have a good statement on his hands here.
While I did not pick up the book to read its contents, I gladly come to a conclusion about that statement. It seems that the personalities of both sexes really are poles apart. Well, this is based on my previous experiences so far anyway. To further elaborate, take these few examples as evidence. First of all, in terms of communicating, men tend to be more reserved, whereas women are more vocal. In a shouting match, the fairer sex always wins. Men are geared towards more physical actions, the stronger you are physically the more intimidating you'll be, whereas women are more diplomatic, they tend to talk out their problems by coming to negotiations with the parties involved and finding solutions out of compromising. However, if men attempt negotiating instead of fighting, and women fight instead of negotiating, results will indeed be very different. In the case with men, failed negotiations will always lead to more punches being thrown and for women, fights will often lead to seeking forgiveness, a form of compromising.
Secondly, would be the wardrobe that they put on. Men usually wear dark formal colors whereas women tend to like brighter ones. Clothes don't mean much to men, but they certainly do to women. This is because women tend to be more aware of what other people think of them in the clothes that they put on, or their appearances in general. For men, well, they don't really care that much, all they need is something comfy and appropriate and they would be good to go.
I could go on and on about the differences between both genders, so let me just say this to prove my point about what I think are the differences between them. Men and Women, really are from different planets! Althought not literally but rather from a personality point of view, they really are galaxies apart, yet despite this, we will definately not survive if one of the two goes extinct. Very contradicting, but in my opinion, very fortunately true indeed.
Religion
People need a guiding force to go on living their daily lives. Without this guiding force, many lose their principles of living a decent life and go on to commit crime that usually will not occur if there is a moral virtue that is within them. This virtue can solely be found in the context of religion. To many people this comes in the form of worshipping a God, or in certain religions, Gods.
Religion forms a very solid backbone in which humans a can fall back to in case of dire situations arising. It forms the basis of many of the present cultures that we see around us. Take for example the Malay greeting of "Assalamulaikum", which means "peace be with you", its word origins has Islamic roots. People use this greeting to show humility as well as to embrace another individuals presence. It can also diffuse a potentially tense situation by allowing the person making the greeting to form a very nice first impression in front of others.
People that follow a certain religion are shown to be much more positive when dealing with life problems compared to those that don't. All teachings in every religion requires one to do good, there is not a single religion in the world that teaches its followers to cause hurt towards others. The penchant for people to do good towards others will definitely contribute to the well being of themselves, as well as others around them. Its through the cultivation of good religious values, irregardless of race or culture that maintains harmony in the current society.
Those in society that conform towards leading a good religious life are much more better of than those who do not. Wars have started because of conflicts in religion, but nevertheless, it has been knowned throughout history as a uniting tool rather than one that divides.
Religion forms a very solid backbone in which humans a can fall back to in case of dire situations arising. It forms the basis of many of the present cultures that we see around us. Take for example the Malay greeting of "Assalamulaikum", which means "peace be with you", its word origins has Islamic roots. People use this greeting to show humility as well as to embrace another individuals presence. It can also diffuse a potentially tense situation by allowing the person making the greeting to form a very nice first impression in front of others.
People that follow a certain religion are shown to be much more positive when dealing with life problems compared to those that don't. All teachings in every religion requires one to do good, there is not a single religion in the world that teaches its followers to cause hurt towards others. The penchant for people to do good towards others will definitely contribute to the well being of themselves, as well as others around them. Its through the cultivation of good religious values, irregardless of race or culture that maintains harmony in the current society.
Those in society that conform towards leading a good religious life are much more better of than those who do not. Wars have started because of conflicts in religion, but nevertheless, it has been knowned throughout history as a uniting tool rather than one that divides.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Art, the expression of the soul
The ability for humans to decipher abstract thoughts are very unique characteristics for a living being. Abstract thoughts are all based on perceptions of individuals as one single subject can have many different view points depending on many factors. Interpretations of individuals are gathered based on their past experiences and beliefs. This act of abstract interpretation presents itself very clearly in art.
Whenever you see a painting, or a sculpture, it will often invoke a tinge of emotion in you whenever you see it. Even thought its not a living object, the fact that it stirs up feelings is proof that expressions of emotions can be displayed for all to see. The artists or sculptors put in their heart and soul into making the end product, poured out their inner feelings and made them into the work of art.
Paintings and sculptures done by artistic geniuses such as Vincent van Gogh, or Michelangelo are still being admired by people around the world today. Many of them will still attest to the fact that they can find abstract messages hidden within them, and this is all done through the process of abstract imagining.
Whenever you see a painting, or a sculpture, it will often invoke a tinge of emotion in you whenever you see it. Even thought its not a living object, the fact that it stirs up feelings is proof that expressions of emotions can be displayed for all to see. The artists or sculptors put in their heart and soul into making the end product, poured out their inner feelings and made them into the work of art.
Paintings and sculptures done by artistic geniuses such as Vincent van Gogh, or Michelangelo are still being admired by people around the world today. Many of them will still attest to the fact that they can find abstract messages hidden within them, and this is all done through the process of abstract imagining.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Fear
Ever felt constricted as if a feeling of paranoid is about overcome you? The feeling that something bad was about to happen but somehow, we feel helpless to do anything? If you do, then you are probably experiencing the feeling of fear.
As humans, the feeling of fear is not something that is very pleasant, nevertheless, it is a very important emotion that all of us require to continue surviving. Without fear, we would be reckless in leading our lives. Never having a second thought to our actions would lead us to committing many more mistakes in life. Fear acts as a gauge towards all the actions that we carry out. In other words, fear prevents most of us from making a fool of ourselves in situations where doing so would not be recommended.
Being able to detect fear would be a skill called empathizing that not all of us could master. But people that do so are extremely capable of manipulating the situation to their advantage as the emotion of fear is such a paralyzing one. One that is hard to comprehend but very easy to experience.
As humans, the feeling of fear is not something that is very pleasant, nevertheless, it is a very important emotion that all of us require to continue surviving. Without fear, we would be reckless in leading our lives. Never having a second thought to our actions would lead us to committing many more mistakes in life. Fear acts as a gauge towards all the actions that we carry out. In other words, fear prevents most of us from making a fool of ourselves in situations where doing so would not be recommended.
Being able to detect fear would be a skill called empathizing that not all of us could master. But people that do so are extremely capable of manipulating the situation to their advantage as the emotion of fear is such a paralyzing one. One that is hard to comprehend but very easy to experience.
Eye contact
“Eyes is the window to your soul”, this is what I heard Shaun said during our human comm class on yesterday. What is eye contact? Does it required in verbal communication? I am wondering whether looking at one’s eyes when he/she is talking is considered respect or being rude to him/her.
I met a girl from Kelana Jaya this morning. This is the second time I met her. We know each other on last Saturday during sport carnival. This means we don’t know each other very well. However, we met at McDonald today and had a conversation for about two hours at there.
Her name is Ping Chi. She has a pair of beautiful and big eyes. I like her eyes so much. Therefore, during the two hours, I almost looked into her eyes when she talked. For me, I think that this is a way to show our respect to the speaker when he/she is talking. However, I tend to make assumptions that others are similar to us again.
On the other hand, Ping Chi doesn’t feel like that. She thinks that looking or staring at one’s eyes is an action that shows one is being aggressive or rude. That’s why she often felt so uncomfortable when I was looking to her eyes when she was talking. She did ask me about that to clarify her thoughts.
This makes me think that misunderstanding and misinterpretation can be occurred in non-verbal communication and also asking questions to clarify it. This is because different people will convey the messages differently.
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